*light* internet stalking

When I meet a new guy, I'm terrified of mentioning something he

hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

soup

I could have a more intelligent conversation with a bowl of alphabet soup than with some people I know.

recline away...

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are

going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

offspring

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

decisions, decisions

Bad decisions make good stories.

That's all.

maybe my eyes are too piercing...

fine...i'll leave...with my head held handsome.

i wanna be yoshi

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and

instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

diets

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

hunger.

Stardust, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, You've Got Mail, Stranger than FIction

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually

becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

foreign language

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

hi there!

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

Hi, I'm Rachel F. I'm from Washington, my favorite food is lomo saltado....

and I'm a floozy.

facebook

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

ridiculous realization #219

if you can't be good, be good at it.

let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings.

Today, I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this.

dwight from The Office ridiculous

ridiculous realization #92

so guess what??

i actually don't like ice cream.

ridiculous huh?

(except graham canyon from byu creamery)

ridiculous realization #492

No matter how old I get, I'm pretty sure I will expect my parents to pay for me if we go out to eat.

We're not saying this body wash will make your man smell into a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.

I don't know what took me so long to find this...but compare to the video posted Saturday, August 21st.

after all...he was "the Duke"

Life's tough...it's even tougher if you're stupid.

-John Wayne

venting

you know that feeling of dislike you get when your ex gets a facebook after they swore they never would and now you have to watch everyone become friends with him around you?

yeah....

absurd

mylifeistwilight.com

*DISCLOSURE*

I DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN mylifeistwilight.com OR SUPPORT ANY OF THEIR ENDEAVORS. I TRULY AND HONESTLY WOULD JUST LIKE TO EXPLOIT WHAT PEOPLE HAVE DONE BECAUSE OF THEIR IRRATIONAL OBSESSION OF MYTHICAL CREATURES.

some entries:

"I have a life-size cut-out of Edward in my room. When I saw New Moon again, I bought an extra ticket and had Edward sit next to me. Best date ever."

"Today I met the most amazing boy of my life. As we were talking, he cracked a funny joke, and I accidentally responded with, 'Oh, Edward!' "

"In the ninth grade biology class I teach, there is a boy named Ed and a girl named Bella. I pair them up for every lab assignment in hopes that they will get together."

"Today my ex-boyfriend threw my Twilight book across the room. He was still my boyfriend before that."

"Today, my boyfriend bit me. I did not turn into a vampire, so I dumped him."

look for many, many more on their website: mylifeistwilight.com

ridiculous realization #61

My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time." I see "Time to Beat."

did you know that 8 out of 5 dentists say that studying the library is 6 bagillion times more effective than studying in your shower?

claim to byu fame: this guy so came to my apt and i had a chat with him. he's kinda short.

yes, you are fun.

watch this:

more rainbows

"I'm in a weird situation because I like rainbows,

but I’m not gay.

So I wear a rainbow on my shirt but under it I got to put,

“Not Gay.”
But I’m not against gay people so under that I got to put

“But Supportive.”
I just think it’s weird that one group took refracted light.

that's pretty greedy gays."

-Demetri Martin

Double Rainbow - a must see

ridiculous realization #126

Nothing sucks more then the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

sorry...i didn't realize we were besties...

honestly though - why on earth do people expect to ask a deep and personal question to someone they are just barely "friendly" with?

case #1 - (this event happened in the past...because right now i am very single) so i was dating this guy and we were almost exclusive. so all these random people came up to me - telling me how "cute" we were together. wait a second...who are you?

case #2 - i went on a date a few nights ago with a guy from my ward, somehow all his friends knew and came up to me to ask me how it went. seriously? like i would tell YOU how it went to you could just go tell him or make your own speculations on whether or not we are meant to be future "E.C.'s" (eternal companions).

case#3 - o.k... so this is a little more far stretched then the others...but still valid. i have a hot roommate and bestie. obviously...because these guys will come up to me and ask about her. i'm thinking, oh it's nice that this guy is being friendly to me...and as soon as he finds out she is either not single or not interested...he backs away and we never have another conversation again. if you are interested in one of my friends, grow a pair and get to know her yourself. (harsh i know).

ok, so maybe i'm just venting. but being friends...or dare i say it...facebook friends...does not entitle you to special rights or topics or conversations about someone's personal life. in my experience, only time and experiences can build that type of friendship.

someone should write a book on this stuff.

Quote of the Day

"If I can't predict what we'll have for pudding, how can I predict someone's affections?"

-Elphaba, Wicked page 98